I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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