i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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