at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize