I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
