K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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