I think i peed on brittanys purse
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
