I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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