don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
