Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
