he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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