Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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