I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
