just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize