I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
