The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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