There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
