Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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