my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
