think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
