the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize