we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
