if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
