I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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