Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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