Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
