my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
