he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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