Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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