sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
