I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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