i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
