I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
