I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
