Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
