she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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