Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
