dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
