11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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