i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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