i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
