Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
