I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
