I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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