At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
