Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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