Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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