Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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