Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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