This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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