no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
