tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
