I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
