Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize