Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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