I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
